Tired tired tired. I almost had to work this whole week if not for surf 'n' sweat this sunday. Whats more, work is taking up WAY too much of my time. Imagine a 24hour day. Work is from 12 to 9 officially but I have to leave my house at 11 and it usually takes at least half an hour to close. Plus travel time home its basically 11.5 hours dedicated to work. 8 hours of sleep. That leaves me with just 4.5 hours of normal life. Which is basically shit la. I can't even find inspiration to blog because my leg hurts so much.

I got a job! I don't know when it starts, and I think the pay kinda sucks. But hey! Better than lazying around all day at home right?

Well, sometimes it might not be true. Like, I will never be able to have the freedom to meet up with anyone, anytime. Got to plot my life around a schedule. So much like school. And I thought that the end of school was the dearth of plotting. So I guess the important thing is to be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.

Speaking of wishes, I'm pretty sure that everyone has some sort of secret wish or desire that is just plain fantasy. You know, like to be able to fly, or to turn invisible, or to be able to morph etc... Well, when I was younger I thought that having the power to morph into any animal was totally awesome and used to fantasize about it at night. How I can just become a bird and fly to school, maybe turn into a fly to sneak past teachers, fun stuff. It was also probably why I liked reading Animorphs so much too...

But then when you continue in your fantasy to a certain point, the problems start to crop up. Like, wouldn't I be leaving my clothes behind when I turn into a bird? It sure would be awfully awkward to turn up in school naked. And what if someone sprays sheltox on me while I'm a fly? Life might be just a little screwed.

What do you think of before you sleep,
I wish I was a bug standing in a pile of shit.
But right before I doze off I smell a -bleep-,
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you might just get it.

Well, all I can say is that right now, I wish I had the power to turn adult EZ-Link cards into student ones, and to make taxies charge like busses.

WWJD episode 1

Wednesday was weally weally wet.

‘Perfect’, thought Blaine, leaning back, champagne in hand as his jet-black limo cruised along the expressway. ‘Everything will be more convincing with all this water around for sure.’

‘Honey, let me get this straight. I just tell them to do whatever it is you say right?’

‘Yes, mom’, Blaine replied patiently to the woman sitting next to him, his brows furrowed in concentration as he conspired the events ahead.

‘Are you sure about this? It wouldn’t be nice to make a scene you know? How can I face your aunt if I end up wrecking her wedding?’

‘Just shut the fuck up and do as I say ok?’ Blaine snapped. ‘Jesus Christ, I’ve already got enough on my mind as it is’.

Blaine straightened his tie as the limo pulled into the foyer of the hotel. ‘This is where it all begins’. An instant, plastic smile appeared almost magically upon his face as the door to the limo opened.

‘Evening, evening, glad to see you! Hope you enjoy yourself. Oh, I do hope you will have a magical time today. Don’t you just love the decoration? I saw to it myself! One by one, Blaine made mindless talk to the guests at the reception, all the while keeping his eye trained upon the various artifacts around the room, making sure that they were just as he ordered. It had taken him so long to get the décor of the hotel together, with everything set just right to create the perfect ambiance of mystery and wonder. Pretty tough, especially when you’re designing a wedding. There were six waterpots lining the entrance of the ballroom. They were a very pale, almost alabaster-like tone and had carvings upon it depicting Neptune, god of the sea. That was the theme of the event: water. Perfect, considering the recent weather. However, the masterpiece of the evening was a huge ice sculpture of Slithice, the Naga Siren right in front of the main stage. Hand-carved by Blaine himself, it towered almost three meters tall and with her hands outstretched, seemed to be willing everyone to go to sleep. ‘Oh yes, by the end of today, they will be appreciating my decoration so much more’.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy your meal!’ As if on cue (and it was), vapor billowed out of strategically placed containers, as well as the mouth of Neptune, exhorting gasps of surprise and wonder from the guests. ‘Well done Blaine, I knew leaving the décor to you was the best choice’, gushed the host. ‘My daughter’s going to have such a lovely wedding thanks to you.’

‘No problem. Uncle, designing this ballroom was my pleasure’. Blaine smiled wanly at his uncle. He needed everyone to be in this mood: Appreciative, and receptive, especially the latter, even more so with this blabbermouth of an uncle. Blaine rose to his feet, ‘A toast! To all around us, may this happy couple enjoy many great nights just like this one’ A couple of people laughed in reference to his thin joke hinting about remarriage but mostly everyone just nodded in agreement and drank. ‘I do hope you have a taxi booked to bring you home uncle?’ pretended Blaine. ‘Of course, my lad! This alcohol only wedding must be a brainchild!’ Roared his uncle, slightly red in the face even though the wedding was only just starting. On the opposite of him, Blaine’s mother could only smile and shake her head.

This wedding was indeed Blaine’s brainchild. Years of studying design, chemistry and the human psychic had cumulated in this day. You see, Blaine was no ordinary child. Born in a manger to a virgin mother, Blaine was a product of asexual reproduction. Of haploid parthenogenesis if you will. Since young he has felt the void the lack of 23 chromosomes created and he longed for something to fill it up. And the thing was fame. If he could make people love him, who cares about just 23 chromosomes? He could have all the chromosomes in the world! This wedding was just the beginning of Blaine’s plan to have the whole world at his feet.

The walls were painted to look like waves. The carpet was a rich sea-blue green in color and the sound of a small waterfall trickling in the corner made the ballroom seem like a huge, underwater air bubble. In fact, the trickling reminded the guests so much of water, there was a constant queue outside the bathroom. ‘Perfect’, thought Blaine. ‘More water out, more water in. The human mind is so gullible sometimes.’

Exactly as he planned, the cases of vodkas and various other alcohols were slowly but surely being drained. Blaine had counted on the way wine bottles were constructed, with a little hole at the bottom end to confuse the caterer into providing too little drinks. The hole in the bottom is intended for the waiters to hold while serving drinks but they also had the added purpose of making there seem to be more wine than there actually was.

By the fifth course, the boxes of Jacob’s creek was totally empty and there was only one shot of vodka left, a shot which Blaine’s uncle drunkenly downed before slurring. ‘Fuck, we’re outta drinks! Damn you Blaine, water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink!’ He then proceeded to slam his fist upon the table before passing out. Blaine, managing to contain his surprise at his uncle still being able to quote The Rime of The Ancient in his drunken state knew that his time had come.

It wasn’t long before the chief caterer approached. Seeing his brother’s drunken state, Blaine’s mother knew that her moment had come. As the second oldest, the waiter turned to her instead to explain the situation. How dreadfully embarrassing, he had not prepared enough drinks. Shushing his pathetic explanation about how her guests ‘drank like a fish in a desert’, his mother said to the servants, ‘whatever he says to you, do it.’(John 2 verse 5). Blaine immediately stood up, a strategically positioned spotlight illuminating him, giving the effect of a halo around his head. Pointing regally at the six stonepots in the corner, his voice came out loud and echoing, a product of his position under the arched roof causing his voice to reverberate through out the hall even without the use of a microphone. It also had the added effect of grabbing everyone’s attention.

‘Fill the stonepots with water’, and they filled it to the brim. And He said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” (John 2 verse 8) Where the caterer was merely embarrassed before, he was positively squirming now. ‘My apologies, master, but we have ran out of ice too. Our standards require at least iced water.’

Both their eyes wondered about the room and came to rest on the same spot. The caterer started to tremble. Blaine looked lovingly up and down the Naga Siren. ‘Get a pick, now!’

Blaine’s toughest job now was pretending to be devastated that his great ice sculpture was going to be chiseled down to cool the drinks for a roomful of drunkards. He portrayed sadness and pain as people tried their best to comfort him, but deep inside he was smiling smugly.

It wasn’t long before the once majestic Naga was reduced into piles of ice inside every ice-bucket. As was The Wine Company’s policy, the master of the feast had to taste the drinks before it was served, even if it was merely ice water. ‘Give it to him inside a shot glass, on the rocks’ ordered Blaine.

However, it was not ice water that greeted Blaine’s uncle’s lips. ‘This is excellent vodka!’ He exclaimed! The guests oohed and ahhed in amazement. Some thought that Blaine’s uncle was still drunk but when they tasted the ‘iced water’, they thought otherwise. It wasn’t long before the room was buzzing with excitement and life again. But this time it wasn’t just idle chatter, this time it was full of praise for Blaine, the haploid man who had turned water into vodka. ‘And in such style too, you could almost swear he had a halo around his head as he went about his business. Could he be? No way, he couldn’t! I’m just saying aren’t I? Don’t mind him, he’s drunk!’

‘Yes’, everything in perfection’, Blaine congratulated himself; ignoring the quizzical look his mother gave him. ‘Of course I could not turn water into vodka’, he thought in contempt. ‘You’d think I really took ten days to make an ice statue? I’m no noob.’ And he wasn’t. ‘Every single inch of the Siren is made from pure, 99% absolute vodka, frozen in liquid nitrogen (really. Open the link.) The solid vodka simply melted when placed inside the warmer water quickly turning it into real vodka.’ Blaine smiled warmly. He could smile in open now, that he has shown his hand. It was all he could do to keep the gloat off his face. ‘These people love it. Just you wait to see what I have in store next time’.


Thanks for reading my story! do leave some comments and crititism. At least tell me why it sucked:) If more than 20 people like it i'll write episode 2!

1st edit:16/1 smoothened transition
2nd edit:17/1 removed irrevelent jokes/comments from story

Celebrated shiyun's birthday at MOF(o) today. It is some jap food store that hon chan's dunno what relative from where opened. Food's pretty good, but abit steep. Anyway after that I pang sehed them to go home. Well guys, actually I kinda wanted to go, but I din't want to stay overnight and besides, I don't think I had enough money, so next time you all organize in the afternoon I comfirm go ok?

I have been reading up on evolutionary psychology recently and I must say that its a very interesting branch of science. Basically, evolutionary psychology deals with how the way we view the world today, as well as our culture and thinking have been shaped via evolution. For example, normally, when one thinks of evolution one thinks of how fitter genes are selected for and thus passed down from one generation to the next thus making the species evolve, and all those cool stuff you read in your bio notes. Well, an aspect of evolutionary psychology deals with how culture and traditions can also 'evolve'. Each aspect is called a meme, the counterpart of a gene in traditional psychology. What happens is that cultural tendencies that enhance the fitness of the group are promoted by two methods, vertical translation, like your dad teaching you to be kind to others, and also another which name escapes me but is basically like your CME teacher telling you to be kind to others. In this manner, 'positive' traits are propogated and negative traits reduced.

However, this causes a problem: why are there still negative traits then. Well, this ties in also to another problem of classical evolution. Group selection theory. Normally, selection pressures act on the individual and hence the individual posessing the fittest qualities will survive at the expense of others. However, consider a pride of lions. The mother lionesses suckle the offspring of other lionesses even though in doing this, firstly, her offspring gets less milk, secondly, the fitness of competing genes(other's offspring) are enhances, and thirdly, the mother has to make more milk, using up more energy and hence reducing her fitness. Why then would evolution select for this type of lioness. Well, several theories have been proposed, among which involves kin selection, group selection as well as repriocal altruism among others. Basically it involves explaining how even as an individual's fitness is decreased, the fitness of the group as a whole or those which share similar genes are increased, making it more likely to survive.

Well, cultural memes are also under pressure too. On one hand are the practices that make them successful in the first place, e.g. honesty, trust, yadda yadda. And on the other hand, is the impulse to 'cheat'. By cheating, the individual's direct fitness is increased, increasing its chances of propogating its memes. If not caught, he can stand to gain alot. But if the meme for cheating spreads too much, people will tend to be less trusting and more suspicious, decreasing the opportunities that one will get to cheat and hence reducing the meme for cheating. What this does is create a balance between the cheaters and the honest players and it is why so called negative traits still exist in society: It is a product of trying to be the fittest.

Of course the number of 'honest' people outweigh the 'dishonest' and its not just due to the decreased trust alone. It seems that in the evolution of the memes, certain behavioral memes have evolved to help the 'honest'. Among this reciprocity, ethics and other such instincts. These values, imprinted in us since birth, tip the scales in favour of obeying the mutually consented law that is our culture.

Another aspect of evolutionary psychology is mate selection. It seems that in evolving to carry the baby inside the woman's womb has caused the way males and females select their partners to differ. For instance, while a female is pregnant, she cannot get impregnated again no matter how many mates she has. Additional mates may even cause her fitness to decrease. Hence her focus is on rearing her offspring. The best strategy for males, on the other hand, is to spread his genes far and wide, thus inproving the odds that his genes will be passed down and thus increasing his fitness. Thus males are more 'shui bian' in their choice of mates as the most he has to loose is a few drops of sperm and a couple million sperms, where as the female is more choosy as each pregnancy takes up quite abit of time and mistakes are far costlier. However, with both memes and genes interacting, the male can choose only one mate. Thus to best his chances, the foremost a male looks out for in a female is fertility.

Women on the other hand, look out for two aspects. First of all is quality of genes, so that the offspring will be fitter, and the second is the man's ability to contribute to the nurturing and development of any potential offspring. The book explains alot but I can summarize it here: Women want someone rich and handsome. Men wants chio bu.

Apparantly this explains alot, including why men prefer younger women( more years of fertility left hence more fertile) while women prefer older men( wiser, most likely more money, more status, better able to provide). The book also goes on about how women's choice of mate is dependant upon a compromise between her two factors, while men looks for physical attactiveness as it is a reliable index of fertility, and how the ideal waist to hip raio for women is 0.7, indicating optimal fertility. Further more, research has shown how female's preference for guys change according to the menstural cycle, with the desire for best genes(good looking) during her fertile phase and more feminine features(less testosterone, more caring) during the luetal phase. Basically they want to fuck someone good looking and have a rich sissy care for the kids. Men's preference is based mainly on youth and looks, including symmetry, as indicators of fitness and good genes. Also, it seems the ratio between the length of your second and fourth fingure is indicative of your testosterone level and hence your masculinity. The lower the ratio, the more testosterone.

Ok, the books really interesting but I have come a long way just for this part. This is where I get these ideas of my own that are not in the book. Basically, I believe that not only is general fertility something the males look out for in a female, I believe that gene compatibility (im making these terms up) also influences both male and female selection preferences. Basically gene compatibility is how well a someone feels that his(or her but I'll just say everything from the male perspective here) genes will combine with another. In doing so, he will place certain indicatiors of fertility higher on the ranking than others and in doing so, will have a different 'taste' than other men. So say a man feel that he (not that he knows it, but these genes stuff have a way of playing themselves subtly so you won't know what it is exactly) has inferior genes for 'legs'. So when looking at women, he will tend to emphasize a nice set of legs as an important mate quality. This makes sense on the gene level. He already has good genes for other parts, why not select someone with good genes for legs so that his offspring has a chance of becoming one step closer to 'perfection'? Perfection referring to the optimal gene combination for whatever the selection pressure is looking for at that time. So he becomes a 'leg' man. This gives rise to the 'opposites attract' theorem as being opposites, they will have a chance to select for the best combination.

Oh my, I just thought of something else! Selecting for opposites will allow for a greater number of combinations of genes to take place, thus leading to 'hybrid vigour' (however it applies to animals) and hence improving one's chance of their genes being passed down! Awesome!

Ok, I've been writing this bloody 'paper' for almost an hour now. Anyone who finds that this oddly turns you on? well, now you know why.

Everything is the same but the mood has changed. From a general contentment into a quiet desperation. I'm actually starting to treasure our games together. Whats more, with army coming up, I guess the JC people are going to drift further and further apart like dirty logs floating in the open sea.

I went to coney island today!


Don't be fooled by the picture. Coney island is actually filled with rubbish and oil. That bag on the beach does not belong to me. It is filled with sand. And don't get me started on the oil. I finally understand what those sea birds caught in oil spills feel like. When I beached my kayak the oil got onto my hands, slippers, oars, boats, basically everything. It was almost impossible to launch later. The worst thing is that the oil made my hands and the oar shaft very slick so it was almost impossible to get a proper grip. What with the currents working against us it was a very miserable trip back. But I finally learnt how to do a roll! It took me four tries and several emptyings but I did it! I can still remember when I started kayaking during OBS with sher and andy. Then two star with Jon last year, actually just like 3 weeks ago. This might well be the last time I ever see him, so, good luck in army buddy. Come to think of it, sher is in army already and andy's going in in two day? Arghhhh...

Speaking again of which...
So now the host has gone to army, looks like there will be alot less dota around now...

Ok, I also went to this year's mass dance at suntec. Not that fun, but even though I still have alot more to talk, many people are spamming me now so its time for dota! bye

I've been staying at home for the past two days to get over the shock of having to pay the adult fares on busses and trains. Plus, gym now costs 2.50. The horror!

Went on the longest ever cycling trip a few days ago. Started at 10pm when we went from seletar to tampines, stopping along the way to play on a deserted highway. Then at tampines andy's bike's chain broke, leaving four of us. Took this bloody marathon journey from tampines all the way to ecp where we played cards for a couple hours and then took the 55-854 road back home. Of course nothing goes smoothly and I puncture what turns out to be both my tyres skipping over a drain. Luckily we were already at yck road so we just had to take a 2hour? walk back home.

New year was fun:) We visited elroy and shiyun's workplace where there were many many big cars. Drank abit and talked alot. Usual stuff...