Thursday, December 23, 2004

Wow. Its been a really long time since I last blogged. I have been to malaysia, and have played lots of ball and warcraft. Not exactly blog worthy except for the trip to malaysia where people masturbate next to you in the toilets. thats seriously disturbing and not something you would want to see.

But now let me tell you a story. One day, there was a jack rabbit called sammy. Now as everyone knows, male jack rabbits called sammys enjoy eating fruits, especially cherries. They loved the delicious juicy taste and soft velvety texture.

Now there was this little rabbit called samantha. She was white and fluffy and lived a few fields away from sammy. Now samantha had a beautiful garden and in it she grew a large cherry bush. Everyday, she would water it with water from the golden stream and red river hoping that it would one day mature and produce a big juicy cherry. Her wishes was answered when one day, a huge cherry the size of a basketball and the colour of a... erm... cherry as large as a basketball suddenly grew out of her cherry bush.

Samantha was not the only cherry growing rabbit. Another rabbit, who lived a little further away, called kelly also grew cherries. She too, watered her cherry bush everyday hoping to grow the biggest cherry in the world. She too, grew a cherry as round as a yi tong and as red as a hong zhong.

sammy, being lazy and greedy, and also a male rabbit, did not grow a cherry bush. Instead, he grew bread rolls. And if there was something sammy liked better than cherries or bread rolls, was cherries AND bread rolls!

Sammy now goes out everyday to look for cherries. One day, he comes across samantha's field. 'My, thats a huge cherry. It must be as big as a basketball and about as red as a cherry the size of a basketball!' he though. 'I must have it.'

Now secretly, samantha admired sammy's long pointy ears and fluffy white coat. So whenever he came around, she always tried to get sammy's attention. Sometimes she cut him a leaf from her cherry tree, and sometimes she ... she... played warcraft with him on lan. Now sammy knew she liked him, and he felt that he liked her too, especially as both of them enjoyed playing dota. He used bone fletcher and she used stealth assasin and they constantly pked each other amid much laughter and computer peeking.

After sammy was with samantha for a while, he realised that what he loved was not her but her cherry! So thats what he wanted of her.

Incase none of you are familiar with the culture of fluffy rabbits that play warcraft, a cherry is a sacred object, not unlike the holy grail or the zamolaxes hammer in dday or the divine rapier in dota.

one day, while sammy was playing heroes X with samantha, he wipped out his bread roll and took a bite out of samantha's cherry. As his sharp teeth pierced the cherry's soft skin, it gave a POP sound much like hydrogen did with oxygen when flamestrike was cast on it. Of course samantha was horrified! but it was too late. But she made sammy promise not to tell anyone that he ate her cherry.

After having samantha's cherry, sammy decided that he wanted to try other cherries. This is where kelly comes in. Sammy saw kelly's cherry and liked what he saw. 'Oh my. That cherry is as round as a yi tong and as red as hong zhong! Thats 2/14 of a 13yao! OmG! Zi muo hu limit man tai!!!' Was exactly what he thought as he caught sight of kelly's cherry. 'i must have it'

Now to cut a long story short as the author is itching to play dota, sammy managed to have kelly's cherry as well.

Now in white fluffy rabbit tradition, it is extremely rude to have two cherries at the same time, much like how you are not allowed to carry two zamolaxes or armour of gods in dday. This was exactly what sammy was doing. However, he made sure that samantha never made contact with kelly and so he managed to keep his dual cherry eating going on for some time going for a doublekill so that he can get the shot of god bonus. He sometimes even tried sneaking a nibble or two a other rabbit's cherries coz he loved them so much and was trying to get bunge shot bonus. He has almost managed to achieve a red wand on it when he suddenly got caught in a cherry baited white fluffy bunny trap and was brought to the hunter's lodge in nearby spadin forest. He plotted for days and finally decided to sneak out of the house after the christmas party when the hunter would most likely be drunk after drinking too much wine. This was still many days away however.

It was during this break when samantha passed kelly's garden. She noticed the familiar looking bite marks on kelly's cherry and went in to talk to kelly.

It was then that they found out about sammy's evil cherry eating plot! All too soon, they realised the horror of the situation! Omg! Map hacker! they cried. Not only had he eaten both their cherries at the same time, he had maphacked too! No wonder they always lost against him!

Now comes the tough part... Should they both confront sammy when he comes back and smack him silly using the ud triple nuke? or should they make him think someone else is eating their cherries just like he is...

I hope this story is helpful...