Cool bad-ass quote I invented today: I have many weaknesses and but one strength, the ability to turn my weaknesses into strengthes.

Aiseh, nice? I was kind of day-dreaming that I was some sort of really successful dude while on the bus home. Its kind of like watching television, except that you are the director!

In other news, my general paper is finally improving after using the 'write boringly in an extremely objective manner acting like you made ur conclusion based on large amounts of research and after conducting extensive review on the subject' tatic, as opposed to my usual 'honest writing where I know that I am supposed to know what my stand should be when I decide to write on that topic' style. Its now 29, hopefully I can do better than that? I just have to remember to write like a boring old fart and most importantly, to switch off the sarcasm. What a farce. You would think GP would be enriching and uplifting, instead, its just as Ms Ow the big wise once told us, 'Just remember that the cambridge markers are boring old ex-school teachers who's idea of a perfect day is to sit in front of the fireplace sipping earl grey and talking about the weather'. Well, not exactly in those words.

(Coincidentally, Lifestory on channel 5 this week featured the founder of the 1.99 store who went bankrupt after the SARS period. In the show, after she almost went bankrupt, her husband bailed her out allowing her to close off her business without debts. She is now a housewife. I don't know about everyone out there but I am having a little trouble seeing the inspirational part of the story.)

Some random pics from my nightwalk! Just to see how it works... And a basketball pic.

I went to marina on friday to get my mp3 fixed. I overshot my stop and ended up almost in shenton way. Could see suntec in the distance so I decided to be a hero and walk back. The moment my shoe hit the bridge at the merlion park it started bloody raining. So damn funny. Well, my mp3 will be gone for 2 weeks, looks like I'll have to rely on my trusty handphone radio!

I used to love playing with cats when I was young. My favourite was one called Zen who lived under my block. Well, I gave her that name myself because that was the brand of watch at the time I first met her. She was beautiful white with tortie patches around her ears and saddle and tail. I remember walking round my block looking for her everyday after school. I even went to the minimart nearby every once in a while to buy canned catfood (not cheap for a primary school boy) for her. She recognized me too, and would purr whenever I came near. So I would actually sort of find her everyday at 2.30pm, after eating lunch at my auntie's place at block 409.

I don't remember bringing her up to my house. But once, I was sitting at the table eating breakfast when I saw a white streak go past. I thought I was just tired and that it was just my imagination until I opened the door to find her sitting on my shoe looking up at me. She was that sweet and cute. My mother chased her down the stairs with a broom.

It all seems kind of fuzzy now but once I rembered finding a large amount of newspaper strips on the lift landing outside my house. I think it was directly the next morning after she came to find me. Somehow I just KNEW that those strips were left by Zen. Somehow I also just KNEW that she was pregnant. I could not find her after school that day. Nor the day after, or after or after.

A few months later, I was walking towards the lift landing after school when lo and behold! I saw Zen! I was so happy, I think I nearly cried. She kind of led, I have no idea how, maybe just by walking away because she knew that I would follow her, me to the multi story carpark nearby. She brought me to a little box and then came out again.

The four little kittens mewed loudly when I opened the box. Zen had a family now. She was a big busy mother cat with 4 adorable kittens to look after. She had mouths to feed, kittens to train. She will never have time for me again...

Fast forward to 1996, we were moving out to a tiny rented flat in Hougang Ave 1. My parents had sold our mansionette and the 4 roomed flat seemed smally by comparison. On the very last day before we left I remember asking my father to let me go downstairs to say bye bye to my friends. I was going to search for Zen. I needn't bothered. I saw her the moment the lift door open. She showed me her new brood too, three lovely kittens. And I did cry this time, as I cradled her head in my hands, to know that this, finally would be the last time I ever set eyes on my best companion ever again...

True story ok?

Aiseh... Study study study. 24hour Dota marathon with matt and hc. Very very guilty! Think I will stop playing for the next two weeks just to make up! Found the joy in long walks around my estate. I actually walked around for almost 2 hours! So fun... Beats trying to memorize things like 'Plasmodesmata and pits are found at intervals in the cell wall. Plasmodesmata are fine cytoplasmic strands connecting the cytoplasm of two neighbouring cells via fine pores in cell wall. Pits arise in places where the secondary wall is absent altogether. The occurrence of pits will result in the two adjacent cells being separated by primary wall and middle lamella.'

AISEH! New experiment coming along. First it was sorry, than it was the thanks, then it was cui, then the other thanks, plus shome thanks, what will be the next catchy catch phrase? Well, instead of waiting for it to come, lets see what happens when you try to create one. A true test of clout... Please help me my friends!

A night post. This means that I feel not so good. So strange how people's mood can just change throughout the day. Usually I'm kind of happy in the morning, then sometimes sort of pissed in the afternoon, and depending on how the day goes down at night. Which just goes to show how emotions are transitional and are hence not a true representation on your outlook on life?

Does this mean then that a purely logical and practical outlook on life is the way to go? So it would seem that the best way to approach any decision or philosophy is to look it from a third party's perspective, and not to get emotionally engaged in your subject.

On the other hand, one is never truly divorced from emotion. Even detatchment is sort of an emotion, one of aloofness. This would then mean that no decision or thought is truly objective. Everything is clouded by emotion. So even when you fail at something and decide 'objectively' to just give it up and forget about it, it would be a decision clouded by disgruntedness. So since there are no 'logical' decisions, and our decisions are based on emotions and seeing that emotions change constantly and quickly, it would seem that no decision is permanent. Since no decision is permanent, and decisions are rooted in the moment they are made, while emotions, on which decisions are based on, are transistant, would mead that every decision made will be guaranteed to be regretted at one point or another.

Since every decision will be regretted, and nothing can be done to change the past, it will lead me to two options. The first is what I will call the root mean square decision, and the other, 'never looking back'.

For the first, examine the fact that emotions changes throughout the day, or week or month, and that at each emotion we will probably make a different decision regarding a situation. Assuming that one's emotion run the gamut of all possible emotions, it will then be technically possible to have a potential reaction for each emotion. This leads to the mean emotion theory. The 'correct' decision will be the decision made by the majority of your emotions, including time as a factor. For example, to make it really simple, let the decision be a simple yes or no, and the emotions happy and sad. Say happy equates to a 'yes' and sad to 'no'. Then assume that in 16 hours of decision time, 10 hours are 'happy'. This would mean that the ratio of happiness to sadness is 5:3, and if one point of yes or no was awarded per hour, yes would outweigh no by 2 and hence the decision would be arbitually 'yes'.

While this would work in certain cases, intensity of the emotion is not included into the equation. What if you were sad only 6 hours out of 16 but in the 6 hours you were really really sad? Other factors include a variable response, Mixed responses while having the same emotions among others. This leads me to the second method, the cliched and hackneyed 'don't look back'. I was actually reminded of this phrase while watching 2fast2furious and one of the characters uttered it. I was struck that this would be a potential solution to this decision problem. Since the whole thing is so darn complicated, why not do what seems right at the time? You could then shield yourself from regret by using the phrase not to look back to cushion the blow when you regret your decision. However, I propose a slight tweak to the message. Instead of 'Don't look back, live life without regrets', it should be 'Don't look back, you'll regret it anyway'. This is much more revelant and realistic.

Now of course the great question would be that since I have written an objective analytical post on the existence of objective analysis, have I done any meaningful analyzing at all? Or is all this writing the deluded works of someone influenced by his current feeling? I can so feel the irony...