Three days of hot sun, drills and marching. Three days. Just for ONE guy. One. Man, how stupid can it get? bloody swine maggots...

So I have a field camp coming up next week. Why why why do we have to go through all this? It's not really that we are going to do something totally new i think. Its just so that we can experience something the FIRST TIME.

And that's all there is to it. It is about trying out every single thing for the FIRST TIME. Because once you've done it the FIRST TIME, it will seem simple the next. The worst part is when even what is supposed to be a FIRST TIME becomes predictable. That's because there is only a certain number of FIRST TIMEs before everything else just becomes yet another FIRST TIME: You know you can get through it, and there is nothing to it but to do it. And gosh, just to do it is so tedious and draining that you just feel like its mostly wasted.

From my sister: What's the difference between nurturing loyalty to country and brainwashing?

Well, I don't know but I think that one is nurtured from the head while the other is nurtured from the heart. Sure, you gotta know the facts either way, and sure, some emotion is involved but I think loyalty to country is not something that is just taught or imbibed into us. You cannot expect someone to be willing to defend this land with his life just because he was born here. He has to see something in the land. Something of such great value that he is willing to lay down his life to preserve it. And that something is definitely not the history of the land because frankly, who gives a damn. What will possibly do it is a set of values that the man sees reflected within himself. It is as if the land stands for everything he sees in life. His personal values are what will tie him to the country emotionally. The land itself is meaningless. It is just a bunch of dirt and water mixed with stone. The thing that matters are the values, the values.

Of course this I guess is the way a typical person will think. Blind devotion to the country just does not exist anymore. I guess that's because no one now has been so much a part of building or influencing the development of this country to be emotionally bonded to it much as the same way as an artist is emotionally connected to his work. They are the ones who see nothing wron with laying down their lives for their country just because. Think about it this way. If your country was about to be conquered tomorrow, and all the invaders want is for the name of your country to be changed to theirs. They will keep the infrastructure, they will keep the citizens, they will maintain our current way of life. All they ask is that we do exactly the same things under a different name. Will you accept this? After all, a name is but a name. Nothing special at all.

Ok, too tired to think anymore.

I miss my pink IC!