Welcome to the topic sentence of today's entry: There's a fine line between having your own pride and giving up too early. (For the future of one page long essays that get 'A' grades because teachers mark 'on criteria', you saw it here first on this page.)

I'm a proud guy and I'm proud not to admit it. Incidentally, I'm also a good liar because of my reluctance to tell lies.

Nifty one-liners aside, I've been recently pondering the question if it is worth it to go all out for something that you want, and come to think of it, if that question even exists at all as everything can be rationalized to how much you want something. i.e. If you don't really want something that badly then you will put in an appropriate amount of effort as befits the occasion but the more you want something the more effort you will put in. Hence there will be no more 'worth' to speak of as the amount of effort varies proportionally with the intensity of desire. For those physics buffs,


Of course K being merely inversely proportional to laziness is overly simplified and I wouldn't even put it on the graph if i wasn't too lazy to correct it. It does present a pretty picture though doesn't it?

Notice then, how actually getting what you want doesn't actually appear on the graph? Of course it is generally accepted that the more effort you put into something the more likely you will get it.

Of course there have been naysayers who say that those who try too hard will never get what you want, or the higher you climb the harder you fall. Factor in the oft quoted phase that 'you miss 100% of the shots you don't take' and you get:

This isn't a simple 1/x curve because the curve actually touches the Gi Axis. However it never touches the D Axis because there's no rule that states that if you want something really badly you will never ever get it. For this problem however, we will assume that it is a typical inverse curve.

From this I can thus obtain 2 solutions, of which only one will be correct, depending on how cynical you are(yet another variable. If I have to explain this one as well my head will explode).

E=D/K -----1 and C=LE-----2 Or C=L/E-----3

combining 1&2
C=LD/K-----4

Or


Combining 1&3
C=LK/D-----5


In words,
4: Chances of getting what you want = Luck X Desire / Laziness
5: Chances of getting what you want = Luck X Laziness / Desire

As can be seen from the resulting equations, Luck is the only sure-fire way of getting what you want. Because you can't know for sure which equation is correct, luck becomes the ONLY way of getting what you want: Chances of getting what you want = Luck(allsortsofnonsense).

If this doesn't make you feel more zen, then I don't know what will. Basically it is saying that the only thing that affects the chances of getting what you want is the chance of getting what you want.

And we all know who won.

AHM 21km today, the most I have ever ran. I can still remember exactly one year ago when we were all cadets. Making our way to the floating platform, and me being slightly late. Then bringing a camera on our 8km run and having someone sprint ahead to take photos of us running together. Life seemed so carefree then. But I guess its only because I don't remember all the siong part that tags along with the fun times.

Anyhow its a good preparation for SCM this december. I believe in trying everything in life at least once, which is why I'm signing up for such insane activities. I'm gonna do it all while I'm still fit and young so I can tell kids next time, 'when I was your age pluto was a planet and lik khian gong gong ran triathlons and marathons!'

Oh no, we didn't qualify today. Got our behinds whooped and lost the first match by 18, then won the second match by 2 and lost the last one by the same amount. It may look like we sucked but the last match was really close. If not for those two lucky 3 pointers we would have been the ones playing on Wednesday. Oh well, its no big deal, really was very ad hoc anyway.

Anyway the point is, I miss playing competition ball. If I could I would like to play our zone and national tournaments again. I know now what that crucial factor was that was missing through most of the tournaments. Its confidence. Really. As the saying goes, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Also as tattoo tan used to say, every shot has a 50% chance of going in because there are only two probable outcomes; in or out. Looking back now I would say that I have wasted so many opportunities. It was only in JC, in the later part of the tournament that I found the doorway to success. Must have been because there were so many ex zhonghuarians playing in the second round that I felt more at home. That's also where I played my most unforgettable match against Innova. You know I always have this way of measuring how much I have contributed to the team which is like this: If we win, I'll take our score and subtract the amount I scored and see if we still won. If we did, I'll feel like I didn't contribute to my team at all. I know that its a very inaccurate measurement but I couldn't help judging myself by it.

Anyway the point is that I felt that I did my team proud that day.

Have I mentioned that my Ipod has been back for a couple of weeks already? Really good stuff. Some songs still cut off early though.

I never like to waste my time and to see people having so much free time outside of NS can be really quite depressing. Especially when you're in camp most of the time. As such, I think that its time to make my in-unit experience as enriching as possible.

An organisation doesn't just become Cui overnight. It always happens from the top. Maybe someone got too high handed, too uncaring to his subordinates or too unreasonable. Whatever it is, the things he does causes those directly under him to feel stressed and fearful. Under this conditions it is inevitable that morale goes down. When that happens, all those that interact with these subordinates, namely their department staff will feel their commanders' drop in morale. This inevitably rubs off on those around them and consequently, their workers. Eventually when those on the ground lose faith, they go about their job with much lesser conviction than before, and they develop a couldn't-care-less attitude. When this happens, their directly bosses suffer from their lessened productivity. This pressures their superiors who in turn is punished or reprimanded by the big boss without bothering to listen to their troubles which in turn creates an even bigger divide between the levels. This bouncing shock wave effect will continue to reverberate throughout the organisation until it becomes truly Cui.

For anyone who's unfamiliar with the serenity prayer, most commonly attributed to the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr here's how it goes:

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Aside from the first word, the prayer sums up very efficiently how to achieve peace in life.

Now I know I cannot change the bosses above me and who the people are together with me. But though the proper channels, I think that I can change just about anything else. I only hope that I am wise enough.

Basic
Instructions
Before
Leaving
Earth

I love mike myers' movies.

TM

Windsufing's no fun without wind, but when theres wind, boy! It actually got so strong in the afternoon I had trouble just staying on my board. Maybe I was just too tired. Not as thrilling as wakeboarding but still fun in its own way. Especially when you start going really fast and have to use all your bodyweight against the sail.

Not everyone agrees with my view(or lace thereof) of religion. To each his own. But one thing's for sure, religious freedom is an oxymoron.