So tired, but yet I'm not asleep.

When you swim through a pool of molasses, do you speed up cause you have more to push against, or slow down from all the resistance in front of you. Sometimes, you just feel like sinking a little, to swim again another day.

My last post was on october 13. At that time, my exams hadn't yet begun. So much has changed in that time. So many things that has ever so slightly nudged me along in my life. I can say that I am probably a different person now than I was when I made that post. Such is the transitivity of life.

Some things are new, some things are back to where it was a year ago. It sometimes feels like you're a little leaf in the sea, being buffered back and forth by the currents. Sometimes pushing forward, sometimes going backwards, sometimes circling, sometimes spiraling. To let yourself get sucked along with the current, or to stand back rise above it, are two equally worthy decisions.

I know for a fact, that I have been swept along. On more than one occasion, 'rolling with the dice' as the bon jovi song goes, but how do you know if you really should be where the dice rolls? Why play by rules which can be broken?

But who is anyone to set the rules for me? Inaction is also a form of action. Oh god I'm so confusing.