Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Oh my, Its been ages since I last posted! I wonder if anybody still reads this blog. I think not, after such a long break, everyone is probably sick of waiting. well then, I guess I will just post here for my own personal benefit.

At the moment, I am feeling kind of frustrated because I just lost a Dota game. Losing was not the part that I am angry about, more like the means by which they won. You guessed it, manta style. In my opinion, that is the most imbalanced, irritating item ever. Without it, we stood a chance, in fact, I think we could have won. But with a manta, its just instant game over. I guess it was also partially my fault for letting her farm so much, but i made a careless mistake of forgetting to buy regen and doing stupid stuff with my hero which resulted in me getting killed a number of times. It was seriously a bad game on my part so I guess I am to blame.

Of course in five minutes this whole episode will seem extremely trival and stupid for me to even talk about but this is supposed to be a blog where I record how I feel right now! Not later. Right now I am pissed. Even as I am feeling pissed, I am wondering if the reason I am feeling pissed is that I feel that I am useless at other stuff and so take what I think I am good at so seriously. maybe I am addicted to computer games. I do feel like I have to study more yet I feel the irrisistable call of the computer. Can I resist it? Maybe in a way I am indeed addicted in the sense that I can think of nothing better to do. So I guess I have to make a pact with myself to study more and play less. How the heck am I going to achieve that? Hmm, I am not too sure. Maybe I will start by going out more often. How do I play on the computer at home if I am out? Unfortunately, this will probably mean that I will start spending more. But if this means that I can study properly, I don't mind.

Where shall I study? Right now I only have three places in mind. All three of these places have served me well during the 'O' Levels and I hope that they will not fail me again for my 'A's. These places are: Festive Market, Heartland Mall, and Ang Mo Kio Library. At festive market, the good thing is that it is very very near my house, as well as a basketball court so I can go and play ball after studying. Unfortunately, I will have to study in coffeebean, which will take a large chunk out of my wallet. As such , I probably cannot go there regularly. AMK library on the other hand, Does not force me to spend money. I can just sit and relax in the couch and study. The danger is that AMK, being a library, will probably cause me to grab some random book off the shelf and start reading. This may end up causing me to waste my time there, though it still beats killing myself in front of the computer. Last but not least, heartland mall. Heartland mall was where I spend the most time last year. That was when Eric was still in singapore. We would spend many hours at the 'VIP' seat doing past year papers and discussing warcraft strategies. I remember it as the best times during the preparation period for the 'O's. If I could go back to anytime last year, I would choose that point. The confidence that I knew the syllabus feels really good. Now in JC, I feel like I know nuts. I will probably fail any paper given to me. The worst thing is that there are so many tutorial that I don't know where to begin! As such, I don't even begin. Sigh~ I miss secondary school life!

The above was absolutely pointless blabber discussing the optimal place to study. i really hope I can rouse myself enough to study. If not, I am surely a goner.

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