I ain't got no life. Thats a double negative, which means that I do got a life! Yeah right. Nothing new, Training on Monday (dang, I still cant touch the rim), gym today. Real killer. Can't even type in complete sentences now.

Thursday's training is at CCAB. Coz the girls are having a match at 1 I think. I will definitely be there to watch. Thats because they are playing against RJ! And RJ has the who! Haha, I want to watch the who play! Oh boy.

You know how sometime you feel like you are on the edge of something? Like you're going up the log ride at escape and its slowly going up the slope going 'clank clank, clank clank' and you know that you are probably going to get wet and youre not sure if you should take the ride after all? Yea, I feel just like that. On the edge! Horribly exciting and entertaining I'm sure. But I'm hesitating, because of ... stuff. Once bitten, twice shy. Yi zhao bei she yao, shi nian pa jing shen. Guess, I'm just not ready to take the plunge. Because thats whats it is. A plunge, which no hope of going back to where you were before. Either you spread your arms and find you have wings, or you crash and hit the cold hard rocks at the bottom. Or, you could try to be and idiot like me and try to swim upstream until your arms become fatigued and you cannot do anything but just give up hope and die. Yes, see if you dare to take the plunge again after that happening to you.

So ironic, someone who wants love and yet is afraid of it. Knowing the flip side, having felt it, but yet dreaming of the good side. Its different now, definitely not easier, but the fear of the dark side is so much more real. I'm torn! Someone give me a sign! Please!