Not too long ago, I caught 'Leap Years' with friends. It was a pretty good movie, and I would go as far as to say one of the better Singaporean movies. I believe it was based on a book by Catherine lim, a Singaporean author, and everything about it, even the soundtracks by Corrine may (excuse my spelling), was done by local talent. Well done.
Anyway, what I am discussing today came when the guy, on his first date with wong li lin told her that he admired her bravery for not going into relationships out of a fear of loneliness. After the movie, we went to coffee club to discuss the movie and do some general chit-chatting.
Well, I have always felt that many people choose to go into relationships for just that reason: they fear being alone. They want to have someone to fuss over them, to take care of them, or even just to have someone be a part of their lives. Thus they look for a partner who can play that role. One of my friend confirmed that thesis, at least for himself; he misses the feeling of being in a relationship. Not necessarily the feeling of the specific person, but just the idea if being in a relationship.
Perhaps this is nothing more than a manifestation of man's need for companionship, a yearning, like in the movie for the two parts to find each other and become whole again. Just so you'll know and I'd remember, the movie mentioned ancient mythology, where it said that in the beginning, man had two heads, four legs and arms. They could go forwards just as easily as backwards. The gods, being worried of their power, cut them in half, and from then on, man yearned for his other half, to complete himself and become whole again.
Well, I don't feel this urge. I probably did for a little while in the past, but right now its pretty clear. I will never be in a relationship with companionship as my motivation. In fact, I would hesitate to call that love at all. If I were to fall in love with someone, it would have to be something more than that. Much more. What on earth could it be?
I myself do not know. It will not be for companionship, for the above mentioned reason. For personality? I have plenty of friends with whom I click very well and am willing to bare my soul to but yet that doesn't entice me into a relationship. For looks? Now that is a tough one to answer. Any man can testify to the inner implosion an attractive lady causes. It would be a lie to say that I am not attracted to good looking women. Even to the point of insanity. But I would say that that is nothing more than a primal instinct. A pretty damn strong one, but primal nonetheless. Selfishness? No one can have her but me. Could be. Pretty compelling, but that is nothing more than an extension of the fear of loneliness. What if she goes off with someone else and ignores me. I will no longer be able to feel the way I feel when I connect with her.
Maybe the point of love is that someone is able to fulfill all those criteria: Provides good companionship, connects well with you on a mental and spiritual level, and is attractive. but to break love down into these components is so, so, superficial. Is there not something deeper that will make someone truly special? If there is not and I believe there is, does that not make me a hopeless romantic?
Some people say that others cannot get attached because they have too high a standard. I think that this reflects a believe that love is the sum of a series of mental, emotional, and physical equations. What is the missing ingredient? the X-factor that like multiplying something by zero, render all the long tedious calculations redundant? Perhaps there is none. Perhaps that's all there is to love. If so, then I may never fall in love.
Which, haha, might not be a bad thing. I enjoy being my own company very much. With no one to answer to but myself. Maybe its the way I grew up, maybe it is in my genes or maybe I am addicted to it( apparently studies have shown that the part of the brain that lights up with loneliness is very near the part that deals with addiction). Whichever the case, it represents no loss. Either love is ruthlessly darwinistic and there is no real point to it, or that there is a missing factor that will manifest on its own accord. It doesn't matter, going out to seek love will result not result in any benefit at all.
It is seems that, upon deep reflection, nothing really matters at all.
A sword, a bow, a taser gun,
all cause hurt and pain.
the choice of weapon, as good as none,
it all ends the same.
old age, sickness,
even a knock to the head
whether you're neat or make a mess
in the long run, everyone's dead
Anyway, what I am discussing today came when the guy, on his first date with wong li lin told her that he admired her bravery for not going into relationships out of a fear of loneliness. After the movie, we went to coffee club to discuss the movie and do some general chit-chatting.
Well, I have always felt that many people choose to go into relationships for just that reason: they fear being alone. They want to have someone to fuss over them, to take care of them, or even just to have someone be a part of their lives. Thus they look for a partner who can play that role. One of my friend confirmed that thesis, at least for himself; he misses the feeling of being in a relationship. Not necessarily the feeling of the specific person, but just the idea if being in a relationship.
Perhaps this is nothing more than a manifestation of man's need for companionship, a yearning, like in the movie for the two parts to find each other and become whole again. Just so you'll know and I'd remember, the movie mentioned ancient mythology, where it said that in the beginning, man had two heads, four legs and arms. They could go forwards just as easily as backwards. The gods, being worried of their power, cut them in half, and from then on, man yearned for his other half, to complete himself and become whole again.
Well, I don't feel this urge. I probably did for a little while in the past, but right now its pretty clear. I will never be in a relationship with companionship as my motivation. In fact, I would hesitate to call that love at all. If I were to fall in love with someone, it would have to be something more than that. Much more. What on earth could it be?
I myself do not know. It will not be for companionship, for the above mentioned reason. For personality? I have plenty of friends with whom I click very well and am willing to bare my soul to but yet that doesn't entice me into a relationship. For looks? Now that is a tough one to answer. Any man can testify to the inner implosion an attractive lady causes. It would be a lie to say that I am not attracted to good looking women. Even to the point of insanity. But I would say that that is nothing more than a primal instinct. A pretty damn strong one, but primal nonetheless. Selfishness? No one can have her but me. Could be. Pretty compelling, but that is nothing more than an extension of the fear of loneliness. What if she goes off with someone else and ignores me. I will no longer be able to feel the way I feel when I connect with her.
Maybe the point of love is that someone is able to fulfill all those criteria: Provides good companionship, connects well with you on a mental and spiritual level, and is attractive. but to break love down into these components is so, so, superficial. Is there not something deeper that will make someone truly special? If there is not and I believe there is, does that not make me a hopeless romantic?
Some people say that others cannot get attached because they have too high a standard. I think that this reflects a believe that love is the sum of a series of mental, emotional, and physical equations. What is the missing ingredient? the X-factor that like multiplying something by zero, render all the long tedious calculations redundant? Perhaps there is none. Perhaps that's all there is to love. If so, then I may never fall in love.
Which, haha, might not be a bad thing. I enjoy being my own company very much. With no one to answer to but myself. Maybe its the way I grew up, maybe it is in my genes or maybe I am addicted to it( apparently studies have shown that the part of the brain that lights up with loneliness is very near the part that deals with addiction). Whichever the case, it represents no loss. Either love is ruthlessly darwinistic and there is no real point to it, or that there is a missing factor that will manifest on its own accord. It doesn't matter, going out to seek love will result not result in any benefit at all.
It is seems that, upon deep reflection, nothing really matters at all.
A sword, a bow, a taser gun,
all cause hurt and pain.
the choice of weapon, as good as none,
it all ends the same.
old age, sickness,
even a knock to the head
whether you're neat or make a mess
in the long run, everyone's dead
posted by lyarn at 3:18 am
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